I've been here a week now and I do have to note some things down, as not all is Paradisial, which is a word I have just cooked up but quite covers the load.
1. The intranet is slow, and hickups about every hour. I went to check on my protogee through my brought along mobile command unit and it froze. She at that time was just fighting rats, her systems froze and she lost her first Rifter. So I bought her a new one and checked in two days later. I watched her fight off some rats, it was quite beautiful, but the next batch... freeze, lag, boom... second Rifter. She kindly asked me not to check in on her until I was back. Now that's gratitude for ya...
2. Somehow they continuesly run out of wine, though it's free and I should think they would have a good supply line.
3. The bathtub is just a little too small for comfort for three. (you heard me).
4. It's at least fifteen minutes drive with the local transport to get to any nearest town. Not that the pleasure centre doesn't have everything one could desire, but still, if you wanted to visit the locals... fifteen minutes... really.
5. I am constantly beset on my friendly, but quite overattentive and even obnoxious fully rodents, birds, deer and the like. I ran when the bear wanted to give me a hug.
6. The fireplace doesn't stay on long enough, the logs, freely delivered to my cottage, only have so long a burning time. About each hour I, or one of my caretakers I keep around, have to prod and poke to keep the fire going. Now is it too much to ask for slow-burning logs??
7. The sauna is sometimes a little too hot. Plus it doesn't go higher than 110 degrees celcius. It is not that I WANT to be in it at 110 degrees, but still it clearly shows the limit of the so famous Risa hospitality.
8. I, or any of my charges, have to clean up after ourselves! Now Really!
9. the wishwasher, coffee-maker and sometimes even the sauna make noises when their on. Sigh.
10. The hot buns delivered fresh every morning are too hot when they come from the oven. Though we don't have to put them in ourselves and the oven turns on automatically 15 minutes before I awake (from the grinding of the fresh coffee maker, so I think there is a pattern there), their too hot all the same.
11. The light of the sun-sky (it's a mobile solar unit inside the cottage, truely an invention) is too bright. Though there is a nob on it to turn it lower, the nob is ON the sunsky and so too hot to turn lower... Sigh... There was a remote control for it when I got the cabin, but it got lost somewhere.
12. The Senseo coffee is sometimes just a little too sharp when I've put just not enough sugar in it.
And most of all... I got soo much free time on my hands here that I sometimes even go WALKING out in the woods that surround my cabin. I have time to THINK and RELAX! Now That I really can't abide.
Oh... 13... the windows that run from floor to ceiling and are about half the walling of the house, give a great view on the woods around, but also give any walker a view into the cottage. Though I'm no prude, even a bit of naturalist and exhibitionist, I don't like shocking other people who really have no business seeing my business.
I came to this last point after a walk where I saw a man and a donkey... I don't adress this further, I think you're already getting a nice mental picture... but no... it was worse. Yes, that kind of worse. I really didn't have to see that.
On the whole... I miss home, my ship, my pod, fighting for my life, dully mining while listening to reggae, talking to people through convo... That sorta sums it up.
But with an advertising phrase like 'We cater to your every fantasy' I still think I'm gonna sue. :)
woensdag 11 februari 2009
Welcome to Paradise 2
I wrote a beautiful epilogue, a brilliant piece of music that would echo through the ages only lacking notes, about my first days here in Risa, advertised with the phrase 'where all your dreams come true', and they really do keep up to their word and even I have a warped mind. :P For those who don't know it, Risa is a starsystem not on any common map to keep only the highest clientelle and keep away the dumb masses who would fuck it up for everyone. So if this is the first time you have heard of it, you might still be able to enter, if you're looking for it... well... keep looking, it will give you something to do.
But the server hickupped and gone was my beautiful flower of words... lost forever.
Pitty.
But the server hickupped and gone was my beautiful flower of words... lost forever.
Pitty.
donderdag 5 februari 2009
Protogée
Welll... as Corp-life would have it, I was 'volunteered' to train a new recruut, absolute noob, though her learning skills were quite capable. Minmatar, thank the Gods, for I wouldn't have suffered one of the uglier races, but rhgith of the bat she began shining about wanting to fly big ships like mine (just a BS, but what the hey, to her it was big). I sternly told her NO, that she wasn't ready and when she asked why not, I'd let her stunt around for a while in her Reaper in 0.6 space, which needles to say for shot to bits right from under her ass by the first rat she met. I know, I'm mean, but I just like myself like that.
Luckily the CCP is so kind when you loose a ship, to have a simler replacement ready. As things can't get simpler than a Reaper as even a frigging Shuttle is better, she just kept flying, shooting and shielding with what she found in loose cans (yes, i's stealing, but as she's not (yet) in my corp, I don't give a bugger). I gave her some pointers on how to best set up her skills, starting with salvaging, as this suited me the best as complimentairy to my mining and droning the rats from the sky. She did so, luckily, after I gave her a mil to buy her skills. In 14 hours flat, she completed her skillset, while three more Rifters were shot from her ass, and I bought a salvager for her to fit, thinking I was sinking an awful lot of money into this just one day old child, but hey, who cares, it's just ISK.
Then we set off, she trailing behind me, through the belts, me in my souped up Rifter (just about everything tech 2), and as I shot rats, she claimed and salvaged.
We shot and gathered, I was actually having fun and glad I didn't have to clean up the mess I made, when in the end, she was already learning for Rifter as she so liked seeing me flying it, yeah as is she'd ever get this good, and after this second day I gathered all we had shot, salvaged and hauled and sold it.
I was amazed at the result: We came to a whopping 11 mil ISK, just on her first day salvaging, second day in the pilot's seat!
And so I bought her the frigging Rifter she so yearned for. She's getting good lessons, so I don't see why I wouldn't get something out of it as well, right?
Next, when she can actually fly the thing, I told her to go for higher salvage-skills and shields... As for me, I'm taking a well-earned vacation for a week or so... I've heard Risa is nice this time of year.
Luckily the CCP is so kind when you loose a ship, to have a simler replacement ready. As things can't get simpler than a Reaper as even a frigging Shuttle is better, she just kept flying, shooting and shielding with what she found in loose cans (yes, i's stealing, but as she's not (yet) in my corp, I don't give a bugger). I gave her some pointers on how to best set up her skills, starting with salvaging, as this suited me the best as complimentairy to my mining and droning the rats from the sky. She did so, luckily, after I gave her a mil to buy her skills. In 14 hours flat, she completed her skillset, while three more Rifters were shot from her ass, and I bought a salvager for her to fit, thinking I was sinking an awful lot of money into this just one day old child, but hey, who cares, it's just ISK.
Then we set off, she trailing behind me, through the belts, me in my souped up Rifter (just about everything tech 2), and as I shot rats, she claimed and salvaged.
We shot and gathered, I was actually having fun and glad I didn't have to clean up the mess I made, when in the end, she was already learning for Rifter as she so liked seeing me flying it, yeah as is she'd ever get this good, and after this second day I gathered all we had shot, salvaged and hauled and sold it.
I was amazed at the result: We came to a whopping 11 mil ISK, just on her first day salvaging, second day in the pilot's seat!
And so I bought her the frigging Rifter she so yearned for. She's getting good lessons, so I don't see why I wouldn't get something out of it as well, right?
Next, when she can actually fly the thing, I told her to go for higher salvage-skills and shields... As for me, I'm taking a well-earned vacation for a week or so... I've heard Risa is nice this time of year.
zondag 18 januari 2009
Conspiracy theory 1
Ever noticed that the Rats just befor you shoot them down repackage all their stuff, so it's easier stacking for you?
I think all the Rats are just very very low grade clones, quite stupid, as they don't fly off and hide when they see you're in a much better ship.. no, they attack! Blind buggers...
First of all, there must be HUGE complexes, somewhere, pumping out those clones.
For those clones to appear in just about EVERY Goddess Damn System there must be a secret but huge transport network at work.
And since the Concord does nothing to prevent this illegal network and keeps it from the public, nor is in any hurry to take out those rats, but DO shoot at ANYONE making an honest mistake at shooting at another ship, I can only conclude one thing.
CONCORD AND THE RATS ARE OWNED BY THE SAME CORPORATION!
The Only corporation big enough to do this is the CCP!
THE CCP IS IN ON IT! THE CCP SUPPLIES ALL THE WORLDS OF RATS!!! THEY ALSO OWN THE AGENTS TO MAKE US BATTLE THE RATS!!! THEY ARE KEEPING US BUSY, SO WE WON'T NOTICE THE BIGGER PICTURE!
REBEL AGAINST THE CCP! SHOOT A CONCORD!
Err.. no.. wait... I didn't say that... I might get a lawsuit on my ass for that, or get my gate rights re revoked
vrijdag 16 januari 2009
The Art of Warping (Or Being Warped)
YES! Finally! I was blankly staring at a rerun of Sum of All Fears (old movie), as I noted how the ship warped back to the Icemining field (yes, still) when it hit me, the thing I had wanted to blog about for a while now! WHOHO! Celebration!
Just for kicks, when I leave a station, I turn on my flightcamera's, you know, the ones that record your final glorious, or not so glorious, moments in battle so you can replay and replay them when you're dead... or something like that.
Sometimes I even put it on fast-record, so the playback at normal speed will be ultra-slow.
Souds weird? Well not if you read my reason.
The simple reason is this.
It often happens that whenwarp starts, near a station, the ship turns just about 180 degrees and heads right, or just about, back to where I came from, which is, the station, because, quite logical, the place I want to be is often at the other side... whythey didn't build the exit-ports on that side of the ship then I don't know, and is not the topic here.
But... imagine... flight recorder on ultra-fast, warp starts and just for that single second moment you are INSIDE the ship... sometimes you even get three or four flashes of the inside before you exit at the other side and warp speeds up. Why it doesn't leave a hole in the station I don't know, ask the nerds, errr Tech guys, and is again, not the topic.
The topic is those few flashes, that just a second of images passing by, at ultra fast recording... I can spend hours replaying those images, because you really pass through EVERYONE's bedroom, broomclauset and storage-room after a while and you can truely see what RABBITS the human population is... and I'm not.
Now I don't know if this is the Art of Warping or just Being Warped, but at least it's nice to remember something you've forgotten. :)
And I'll bet you'll never look at that small second flash ever the same again. :) You'll be wondering... you will...
Just for kicks, when I leave a station, I turn on my flightcamera's, you know, the ones that record your final glorious, or not so glorious, moments in battle so you can replay and replay them when you're dead... or something like that.
Sometimes I even put it on fast-record, so the playback at normal speed will be ultra-slow.
Souds weird? Well not if you read my reason.
The simple reason is this.
It often happens that whenwarp starts, near a station, the ship turns just about 180 degrees and heads right, or just about, back to where I came from, which is, the station, because, quite logical, the place I want to be is often at the other side... whythey didn't build the exit-ports on that side of the ship then I don't know, and is not the topic here.
But... imagine... flight recorder on ultra-fast, warp starts and just for that single second moment you are INSIDE the ship... sometimes you even get three or four flashes of the inside before you exit at the other side and warp speeds up. Why it doesn't leave a hole in the station I don't know, ask the nerds, errr Tech guys, and is again, not the topic.
The topic is those few flashes, that just a second of images passing by, at ultra fast recording... I can spend hours replaying those images, because you really pass through EVERYONE's bedroom, broomclauset and storage-room after a while and you can truely see what RABBITS the human population is... and I'm not.
Now I don't know if this is the Art of Warping or just Being Warped, but at least it's nice to remember something you've forgotten. :)
And I'll bet you'll never look at that small second flash ever the same again. :) You'll be wondering... you will...
NO PICTURES PLEASE
Apparently I have begun to get a gathering of fans for my writing, because I get more and more requests to reguarly post new things. :)
I like that, a lot. But lately the request for my picture on my blog have come, and this I'd like to adress..
NO! FRIGGIN'NO WAY AND ESPECAILLY NOT THE NUDE ONES!
And NO I am not going to tell how I look (with my eyes moron!), how tall I am, what I weigh, cupsize (yeah, really).
We CAN talk about my sexual preferences (always a hot topic), my dress-sense, musical taste etc.
And I'll even Tell ya why.
Right now you like me for who I am, inside, my soul, warping out all this strange writing and shit, plus what pearls of wisdom/insanity I offer in chat channels. When you got a picture to see the skin that lies over the soul, you will either be:
1. appalled. You wouldn't like me anymore, just because I am not 'your style/taste/colour/whatever'
or 2. you'll like me more. just because I have skin, how I look, and not about Who I Am.
So sorry, my fans... this is me, like it or not... and if now you suddenly cannot find yourself to be a fan, then F*CK YOU.
True beauty really is more than skindeep, and that's not just something ugly and fat people say.
I like that, a lot. But lately the request for my picture on my blog have come, and this I'd like to adress..
NO! FRIGGIN'NO WAY AND ESPECAILLY NOT THE NUDE ONES!
And NO I am not going to tell how I look (with my eyes moron!), how tall I am, what I weigh, cupsize (yeah, really).
We CAN talk about my sexual preferences (always a hot topic), my dress-sense, musical taste etc.
And I'll even Tell ya why.
Right now you like me for who I am, inside, my soul, warping out all this strange writing and shit, plus what pearls of wisdom/insanity I offer in chat channels. When you got a picture to see the skin that lies over the soul, you will either be:
1. appalled. You wouldn't like me anymore, just because I am not 'your style/taste/colour/whatever'
or 2. you'll like me more. just because I have skin, how I look, and not about Who I Am.
So sorry, my fans... this is me, like it or not... and if now you suddenly cannot find yourself to be a fan, then F*CK YOU.
True beauty really is more than skindeep, and that's not just something ugly and fat people say.
NO begging for cash PLEASE
This is not a funny story, it's true though... that some people have the NERVE to use the public channel to beg for ISK because their poor, need to support their drughabbit, their wife left them... it's quite simple... These people are just like Pidgeons!
The pideon, originally, was a beautiful forest animal, lives on worms and wild grans and such, until man came. The creature quickly domesticated, because it used it's cuteness factor (and utter stupidiy) to shit on everything they could find.
Somehow this became appealing, because people started FEEDING the bloody animals.
Pidgeons quickly became some halfbreed leach with wings, living off the scraps of mankind, and then mankind began writing SONGS about them! 'Feed the birds', 'Alle duiven op de Dam'. F*CKING IDIOTS!
All I can do is shout 'DON'T FEED THE BIRDS', because if you do, they will never learn to fend for themselves.
Space is big, huge, and there is plenty of oppertunity for everyone to become useful. Pikc up a mininglaser and go mine roids, check the market and go trade... there REALLY is no need for begging for other mans scraps, hoping they find you cute!
Having said this, I'd like to add one more comment.
If you like my stories and my writing, there really isn't a reason not to send me some ISK.
Writing is in my blood, I enjoy doing it, but working is so much hard work... so please... ... please, gimme some ISK.. I am poor and want to buy an Orca. *cutely bats eyes*
The pideon, originally, was a beautiful forest animal, lives on worms and wild grans and such, until man came. The creature quickly domesticated, because it used it's cuteness factor (and utter stupidiy) to shit on everything they could find.
Somehow this became appealing, because people started FEEDING the bloody animals.
Pidgeons quickly became some halfbreed leach with wings, living off the scraps of mankind, and then mankind began writing SONGS about them! 'Feed the birds', 'Alle duiven op de Dam'. F*CKING IDIOTS!
All I can do is shout 'DON'T FEED THE BIRDS', because if you do, they will never learn to fend for themselves.
Space is big, huge, and there is plenty of oppertunity for everyone to become useful. Pikc up a mininglaser and go mine roids, check the market and go trade... there REALLY is no need for begging for other mans scraps, hoping they find you cute!
Having said this, I'd like to add one more comment.
If you like my stories and my writing, there really isn't a reason not to send me some ISK.
Writing is in my blood, I enjoy doing it, but working is so much hard work... so please... ... please, gimme some ISK.. I am poor and want to buy an Orca. *cutely bats eyes*
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