Yes, hello? Is this Concord? I have a complaint.
Hold please? Sure. I'll hold.
* fifteen minutes of Muzak*
Yes, hello there. I have a complaint.
What? Wrong extension?
But you'll put me through?
Well alright then.
Yes, I'll hold.
*twenty one minutes of the same Muzak *
Yes. Hi there. This is Concord Complaints department?
Great. Gods, it was hard getting hold of you. I...
* nineteen minutes of Muzak, not even being asked if I can hold. By this time you'll be humming along with the tune *
Gods! Yes, hello there! I have a complaint concerning interstellar waiting patterns!
No damn it, don't put me on... too late.
* a miraculous only nine minutes Muzak. At this point you're balefully putting words in the text where there aren't any, hoping someone at the other end is listening to you waiting. *
- Icy cold voice - Hi There. Is this the Interstellar waiting pattern complaint department subsection B, personal grievences? Yes, Good. Thank you.
I have a question. A silly one really. Not really even the bother of calling you, but hey, beter asked than not my mother always said. Only a silly goose doesn't ask a question, there are no wrong questions, only wrong answers.
Yes. Yes, she was a very nice mother, very kind, thanks for me being allowed to waste your time.
Look. On the point of the congestion at Jita gate. Yes. Yes, I was there a little while ago, yes. Quite busy intersection, yes.
Now look... I just wanted to ask if I could help with anything.
No. You've got everything under control. Yes. Good.
THEN WHY DID IT TAKE YOU OVER AN HOUR TO ANSWER ONE SINGLE FUCKING QUESTION!
*hangs up*
(and for a real good laugh, just google Concord Just add Life :) Then you'll understand why their ships are so goddamn slow at the scene all the time.)
maandag 6 juni 2011
Complaints and Grievences
I've got a couple of complaints.
Actually I have a lot of them, I've got a Blog full of em, but a lot of those I can't really do anything about so I try not to think about them.
But the most annoying to me is the carelessness of people, just general people, which is you, me, and everyone else.
It is why I wish to redub the line : 'In Space Noone Hears You Scream' into 'In Space Noone Really Cares If You Scream.'
Maybe they could hear you, if they really wanted to, if they really tried, but it is a fact that they don't because they just don't bother, they just don't give a shit.
You could be hanging on for dear life in your pod, floating in a giant puddle of your own vomit, excrement and bowls, drifting in mid space right next to a stargate because you forgot you had bad standing with some race, who keeps track right?, right next to your wreck while flashing a great big sign saying 'HELP ME' and the only 'help' you'll get is that some wiseguy comes to salvage your ship and you'll never see the components ever again!!
I mean! What about humanity?! What about friendship!? What about being civil to each other and just send a little convo asking 'hey, are you alright?'
Well GodDamn you all! Goddamn every stinking one of you! And Goddamn the Gods of CCP who created this world for their own amusement to watch me suffer!
And Goddamn everyone who isn't kind enough to leave me a goddamn message after having read and laughed about my blog!
It's lonely out in space! Reach out and touch someone, and I DON'T mean with missiles!
RRAAAAHHH!!
Oh what the hell. Why do I bother. Why do I even blog. No one is listening.
'In Space Noone Really Cares If You Scream.'
Leave a message after the beep.
Beep.
Actually I have a lot of them, I've got a Blog full of em, but a lot of those I can't really do anything about so I try not to think about them.
But the most annoying to me is the carelessness of people, just general people, which is you, me, and everyone else.
It is why I wish to redub the line : 'In Space Noone Hears You Scream' into 'In Space Noone Really Cares If You Scream.'
Maybe they could hear you, if they really wanted to, if they really tried, but it is a fact that they don't because they just don't bother, they just don't give a shit.
You could be hanging on for dear life in your pod, floating in a giant puddle of your own vomit, excrement and bowls, drifting in mid space right next to a stargate because you forgot you had bad standing with some race, who keeps track right?, right next to your wreck while flashing a great big sign saying 'HELP ME' and the only 'help' you'll get is that some wiseguy comes to salvage your ship and you'll never see the components ever again!!
I mean! What about humanity?! What about friendship!? What about being civil to each other and just send a little convo asking 'hey, are you alright?'
Well GodDamn you all! Goddamn every stinking one of you! And Goddamn the Gods of CCP who created this world for their own amusement to watch me suffer!
And Goddamn everyone who isn't kind enough to leave me a goddamn message after having read and laughed about my blog!
It's lonely out in space! Reach out and touch someone, and I DON'T mean with missiles!
RRAAAAHHH!!
Oh what the hell. Why do I bother. Why do I even blog. No one is listening.
'In Space Noone Really Cares If You Scream.'
Leave a message after the beep.
Beep.
Murderers and Litterbugs
Don't you just hate 'em.
People who shoot at a hard-working pirate and then just leave the wreck there, as if shooting pirates is some sort of sport, for their enjoyment, and they don't think twice about the spouse and kids they leave father or motherless. No wonder when they grow up those kids grow to become pirates themselves, it's for REVENGE! Leave the poor pirates alone! Especially the ones named Brittney! Haven't they suffered enough!?
But if you Do shoot at pirates, especially when they've decided to shoot at you, which can be kind of annoying, especially when doing missions, clean up after yourself. Haul in the loot, salvage the wrecks.
And if you don't, don't be annoyed at someone else doing it for you. Their cleaning up YOUR mess! Be THANKFUL for that, send them ISK! They're doing YOUR JOB!
And what I REALLY HATE is people throwing out secure cons all over the place and littering the sky around jumpgates with messages, because... oh, no, wait. I've got my own PR guy now.. never mind. :)
People who shoot at a hard-working pirate and then just leave the wreck there, as if shooting pirates is some sort of sport, for their enjoyment, and they don't think twice about the spouse and kids they leave father or motherless. No wonder when they grow up those kids grow to become pirates themselves, it's for REVENGE! Leave the poor pirates alone! Especially the ones named Brittney! Haven't they suffered enough!?
But if you Do shoot at pirates, especially when they've decided to shoot at you, which can be kind of annoying, especially when doing missions, clean up after yourself. Haul in the loot, salvage the wrecks.
And if you don't, don't be annoyed at someone else doing it for you. Their cleaning up YOUR mess! Be THANKFUL for that, send them ISK! They're doing YOUR JOB!
And what I REALLY HATE is people throwing out secure cons all over the place and littering the sky around jumpgates with messages, because... oh, no, wait. I've got my own PR guy now.. never mind. :)
Scotty's (or the CCP cloning incident)
I heard this from a drunken driver in a bar where I do some of my... more lucrative trade agreements, so it must be true.
Because of what I heard I wish to apologize to Scotty for my last blog about Scotty's Second.
Once there was One Scotty. The original.
He was unique and lived his life enjoying himself earning his isk. I don't know what he did for a living, but I'm sure he enjoyed himself because why else be in the world of Eve if not for enjoyment and getting the isk.
Then CCP came along and said something like 'hey you, you're perfect, you're unique, we're gonna clone you!'
And who can say no to CCP right? They rule the whole damn multi-verse so their quite overly powerful.
So Scotty went along, hoping he'd come out of it alive, or at least with his ships reimbursed, and then... BANG.
The ultimate power of CCP was so great that there were an infinite number of Scotty's and to make things worse, all Scotty's were immortal!
Now what's a Scotty going to do.
Long disputes about 'that hat is mine' and 'get off my wife!' followed in which no judge could tell who'se is what's and vice versa, and it was decided that all Scotty's would just have to go and live on different stations.
Banned from their home-world! All those poor Scotty's!
Just think about that when you board next time and get annoyed because Scotty won't let you out of your ship!
You bastard!
Because of what I heard I wish to apologize to Scotty for my last blog about Scotty's Second.
Once there was One Scotty. The original.
He was unique and lived his life enjoying himself earning his isk. I don't know what he did for a living, but I'm sure he enjoyed himself because why else be in the world of Eve if not for enjoyment and getting the isk.
Then CCP came along and said something like 'hey you, you're perfect, you're unique, we're gonna clone you!'
And who can say no to CCP right? They rule the whole damn multi-verse so their quite overly powerful.
So Scotty went along, hoping he'd come out of it alive, or at least with his ships reimbursed, and then... BANG.
The ultimate power of CCP was so great that there were an infinite number of Scotty's and to make things worse, all Scotty's were immortal!
Now what's a Scotty going to do.
Long disputes about 'that hat is mine' and 'get off my wife!' followed in which no judge could tell who'se is what's and vice versa, and it was decided that all Scotty's would just have to go and live on different stations.
Banned from their home-world! All those poor Scotty's!
Just think about that when you board next time and get annoyed because Scotty won't let you out of your ship!
You bastard!
Scotty's Second
Right, well now... here's the truth: I hate waiting. Standing in lines for me is the most stupendous thing to do, it takes time away from my work, mining, which costs me 20 mil an hour, which is... calculating... 333333.333 isk a minute.
Yes, I am that good, so could I PLEASE get some special privilege? Could Scotty just hurry his ASS around when he sees me coming, as I am a very well known fixture in this station by now, I've lived here for THREE YEARS NOW!
But each time I enter the station, Scotty tells me it will take 12, 6, 4, 2, 1 second to get out of my own frigging ship. Look bud, I will decide when it can disembark right? I've logged more docking time in my life then you have done having sex! Get a life, stop wasting mine!
But it's no use. Scotty just looks at me blankly as I rage on and eat the upholstery in frustration, waiting... waiting... waiting...
Yes, I am that good, so could I PLEASE get some special privilege? Could Scotty just hurry his ASS around when he sees me coming, as I am a very well known fixture in this station by now, I've lived here for THREE YEARS NOW!
But each time I enter the station, Scotty tells me it will take 12, 6, 4, 2, 1 second to get out of my own frigging ship. Look bud, I will decide when it can disembark right? I've logged more docking time in my life then you have done having sex! Get a life, stop wasting mine!
But it's no use. Scotty just looks at me blankly as I rage on and eat the upholstery in frustration, waiting... waiting... waiting...
zaterdag 16 januari 2010
Incarnation and G.H.O.S.T.
Now I have installed a couple of jump-clones, I have found other... well... I can only put it as 'personalities' linked to me.
I don't know how this happened, it definitely wasn't my fault, but I started a little experiment.
And I succeeded.
In not jumping to a jump-clone, which is kind of jumping forward (or back), but always into myself, though in a different body. But by jumping sideways, I found myself in a space I had not seen before.
There was a mid-space of non-creation, where I was free to incarnate myself into any race, any layer of the community, and choose my own name and how I look.
These 'Alts', for the lack of a better definition, are still low skilled, but can solve one of my biggest problems, namely CorpWars.
With these Alt incarnations, I can just go about my business, but when trouble starts, I can just jump sideways to an Alt, which is placed in a different corporation, and none shall be the wiser.
It's totally non-aggressive, so Ghandi, eat your heart out, will always give me my fun and will annoy anyone stupid enough to war against me, which is the best fun of all.
What if an entire corp worked like this.
Warmakers would pay through the nose to keep a war against an empty corp with no one to kill.
I think I would call it GHOST-corp, as like ghosts we are gone when you look straight at us.
When advertised directly on corp information, it would even reduce the number of wars against us, for warmakers would know our infallible tactic and just leave it be, no shops to destroy and so profit to be made.
We would own no structures and just rent, or move a highsec POS from place to place, packing it in when war was declared. Only when we ourselves cause a war could we be harmed.
With good profits and minimal losses, we would be non-aggressive kings and queens of the Universe!!
Now I only need to solve the riddle what the letters G.H.O.S.T. stand for... It must be something to do with what we are, not being there when the shit happens... anyone got idea's? :) Maybe corp-ticker GHANDI? :D
You gotta love the possibilities of the world we live in...
I don't know how this happened, it definitely wasn't my fault, but I started a little experiment.
And I succeeded.
In not jumping to a jump-clone, which is kind of jumping forward (or back), but always into myself, though in a different body. But by jumping sideways, I found myself in a space I had not seen before.
There was a mid-space of non-creation, where I was free to incarnate myself into any race, any layer of the community, and choose my own name and how I look.
These 'Alts', for the lack of a better definition, are still low skilled, but can solve one of my biggest problems, namely CorpWars.
With these Alt incarnations, I can just go about my business, but when trouble starts, I can just jump sideways to an Alt, which is placed in a different corporation, and none shall be the wiser.
It's totally non-aggressive, so Ghandi, eat your heart out, will always give me my fun and will annoy anyone stupid enough to war against me, which is the best fun of all.
What if an entire corp worked like this.
Warmakers would pay through the nose to keep a war against an empty corp with no one to kill.
I think I would call it GHOST-corp, as like ghosts we are gone when you look straight at us.
When advertised directly on corp information, it would even reduce the number of wars against us, for warmakers would know our infallible tactic and just leave it be, no shops to destroy and so profit to be made.
We would own no structures and just rent, or move a highsec POS from place to place, packing it in when war was declared. Only when we ourselves cause a war could we be harmed.
With good profits and minimal losses, we would be non-aggressive kings and queens of the Universe!!
Now I only need to solve the riddle what the letters G.H.O.S.T. stand for... It must be something to do with what we are, not being there when the shit happens... anyone got idea's? :) Maybe corp-ticker GHANDI? :D
You gotta love the possibilities of the world we live in...
zaterdag 9 januari 2010
Universal Blackout
I am shocked.
I am outraged.
I... I don't have words to express how shockingly outraged I am.
Refitting my ship, I suddenly found my hand clasping around in absolute darkness.
No light. Nothing.
Though a window I saw stars go out one by one, while I heard the beat of a distant drum... or I could have imagined it, I'm not sure.
In all the universe the light was dying, fading, popping out of existance and just for a moment,
just for one a moment in time,
I was afraid of the dark.
Then I stood up, pounded my fists against the glass (lucky it was there and not a forcefield holding the nothing out or else a cold corpse would be typing now,
I raged, Raged against the dying of the light, but found it too tiring,
and then I thought a marvelous thought, a wonderous thought.
I thought about all the billions and billions of people out there,
who were seeing exactly the same as I did,
experiancing what I felt in this giant blackout,
and never before did I feel so completely one with the universe.
How can I be the only one thinking this?
There must be more, amongst the billions,
people who can shout out with me and turn this tide of voilence,
for underneath all these different clothes and different skins we are all the same,
descendants of the Old Race, Brothers and Sisters alike,
united through a single heratage,
called the human race!
And then I thought of one person,
somewhere inbetween all those billions of people,
who had found the plug to the universal fusebox
and found it funny to just see what happens if he'd pull it.
Him I now HATE and will hunt and kill until he's Dead!
PS. Traffic Advisory Officials are supposed only to ADVISE on travel routes, not close down complete damn StarGates!! Them I hate too.
The rest of you... well... the moment of universal oneness passed and now you'll all have to proove yourself to me to be my friend. Donations of large sums of ISK help. :)
I am outraged.
I... I don't have words to express how shockingly outraged I am.
Refitting my ship, I suddenly found my hand clasping around in absolute darkness.
No light. Nothing.
Though a window I saw stars go out one by one, while I heard the beat of a distant drum... or I could have imagined it, I'm not sure.
In all the universe the light was dying, fading, popping out of existance and just for a moment,
just for one a moment in time,
I was afraid of the dark.
Then I stood up, pounded my fists against the glass (lucky it was there and not a forcefield holding the nothing out or else a cold corpse would be typing now,
I raged, Raged against the dying of the light, but found it too tiring,
and then I thought a marvelous thought, a wonderous thought.
I thought about all the billions and billions of people out there,
who were seeing exactly the same as I did,
experiancing what I felt in this giant blackout,
and never before did I feel so completely one with the universe.
How can I be the only one thinking this?
There must be more, amongst the billions,
people who can shout out with me and turn this tide of voilence,
for underneath all these different clothes and different skins we are all the same,
descendants of the Old Race, Brothers and Sisters alike,
united through a single heratage,
called the human race!
And then I thought of one person,
somewhere inbetween all those billions of people,
who had found the plug to the universal fusebox
and found it funny to just see what happens if he'd pull it.
Him I now HATE and will hunt and kill until he's Dead!
PS. Traffic Advisory Officials are supposed only to ADVISE on travel routes, not close down complete damn StarGates!! Them I hate too.
The rest of you... well... the moment of universal oneness passed and now you'll all have to proove yourself to me to be my friend. Donations of large sums of ISK help. :)
Abonneren op:
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